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Healing Through Boudoir

How is it possible to heal through Boudoir?

As I started my own healing journey is when I realized how interconnected everything is and how much I can pass along my knowledge to others to bring to light solutions that one may not have thought of.


1. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable

Being vulnerable can sound intimidating I know. As I started working on myself and heard that I should let down my walls so I can be more vulnerable sounded impossible at first. Trusting people has been hard with what happened in my past. So many people saying “Yay, I’ll be there and help you out.” But no one would show and would not receive responses or it would be oh I’m sorry I can’t anymore.

When you let down your walls and allow yourself to be vulnerable you can open yourself up to all of what you have closed yourself off from. More people, opportunities, ideas are going to be available to you as you open yourself up more. Brené Brown, research professor at the University of Houston whom has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, says “vulnerability is not a weakness but rather a superpower.”

Vulnerability does NOT make you weaker but stronger. This can be scary and uncomfortable like any form of healing. We need to go through some pain before we can progress. The benefits from allowing yourself to be vulnerable is endless. Relationships, business, personal, and with yourself shift to what you need in your life. Higher quality people are drawn into your life and you can more easily obtain the things in life that will bring you joy.

Examples of Vulnerability

· Asking for what you need or want

· Setting boundaries

· Sharing our accomplishments

· Talking about any shame or insecurity that you are holding onto

2. Confronting fears

Fear holds up back from accomplishing so much in life. I had a friend ask me to join them on a camping and kayaking trip. First thing that went through my head was “Wow; that sounds so nice.” Which was quickly followed up with the thought of “Oh god how is this going to go? I don’t have any camping gear. I have not been sleeping well and what if I overheat? Will I have any fun? Will I be wet, burnt, and frustrated?” But I stopped and took a moment. “What’s stopping me? My fear.” Ok how can I solve these problems that are holding me back from what I want to do? I hunted for gear that was inexpensive or used. Then I remembered that I have CBD gummies that help me sleep when I’m having a rougher time. Even if I do not sleep or very poorly it is just for one weekend and there is a canoe that I could always just chill in if needed. Because I also had concerns about oh god I haven’t worked out in ever how well is my body going to handle this?

That mini vacation with my friend I got to make more friends, and have the best time of my life. This trip changed me. We were not allowed to have a fire on the ground due to the winds, we got hail in May, some rough winds, and practically none of us got any real sleep that evening. The morning was probably just as rough. But after being out on the water for a bit I realized that the best stories and life experiences have been paired with sound rough times all while having the best time ever. I came back home from that trip and bought myself a kayak. I learned so much about myself.

If I allowed fear to take lead I would of missed out on the most relaxing yet rewarding trip ever, made some great friends, have people genuinely care about me as I did about them, got out of my comfort zone, did things I did not realize initially were things that I have always desired to do which was a form of feeling free, reconnecting with nature, and begin so happy.

3. Reclaiming your sexuality

Reclaiming your sexuality

Any healing that you do is not easy. It can be rough and emotional but so rewarding. It can feel like you are disconnected from your body and struggle to see yourself and body in a sexual light. The moment that I was able to reclaim my sexuality I remember thinking “Wait; this is how it’s supposed to be? I’ve been missing out on this for how much of my life?”

“A sex-affirmative or sex-positive approach to trauma-informed healing encourages and supports survivors to say ‘no’ as much as to say ‘yes’; to set boundaries as much as to welcome intimacy and ultimately to freely choose one's sexual experiences and expressions from an empowered place and move from coping to thriving in your sexuality as much as in the rest of your life.” - Ewa Litauer

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©2015 by Jaclyn Kushner